I must admit, I am in LOVE. Crazy, I know. My nose is wiiiiiidddddeeee open. I know that someone is wondering how did I get to this place. It was a peculiar journey. I have not felt this feeling in a long time. As a matter of fact, I had almost become numb and thought I would never feel this way. Most people do not realize that I struggle with abandonment issues. This is something that was formed in me in from a young age. I had some very close people to me growing up who proved not to stand the test of time. I am a fiercely loyal person. I have always held people in suspicion because I have been hurt before. This has even been difficult in the pastoral ministry. I have had people leave without a valid reason. This has caused me to form my own shell. I never thought I would ever find someone who would always be there. I never thought I would find someone who can handle my quirks and Love me beyond my bad and moody days(don't look at me with that tone of voice. I am not the only one with "bad and moody" days). I was getting cynical that there would be no one who would understand as I struggled to articulate what was wrong. Someone who would not be mad if was too tired to talk or text before I went to bed or who would understand that life is 24/7 ministry for me. I finally found someone who does not mind when I just feel like sitting still and saying nothing or just let me take a few mins(or hours) to just unwind and slow my mind down so that i can relax. Here is the funny thing, my Love has been there the whole time. As I was looking for this love in different places and situations, my Love sat patiently on the side and waited for me. Even when i continued to dwell on ministry as my safe place, my Love just stayed right there. As I worked to try and prepare and progress myself, my Love was right there. I am so relieved to finally find this Love that I have been looking and longing for. I just want to take this time to publicly thank the one who has always been there, loving me every step of the way. I want the world to know how much I am devoted and committed to them. So here goes.....Thank you JESUS for being there. I love you so much, because you first loved me.........
