Dr. Charles E. Goodman, Jr.(PG) is the Senior Pastor/Teacher of the Historic Tabernacle Baptist Church in Augusta, Ga. This blog is a in-depth peek into the thoughts and spiritual insights of a pastor who is seeking God while being and becoming who he is purposed to be and that is to LOVE and LEAD people into a MATURING RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ. Blessings
Monday, May 04, 2009
Relationships-Marriage and Singleness
Do you believe that God intended all to be married? Is there a stigma on those who are single past a certain age? I want to read your comments. Bless ya. RevCEGJr
4 comments:
patiently waiting
said...
In 1 Corinthians 7. Paul recommends that those who are single remain single “for this present distress.” (1 Corinthians 7:26) So his main concern was for a short time of persecution. He never recommends that everyone stay single. Early in the chapter he says that some must marry because of their desires.
He does list advantages to being single. “But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
From a spiritual standpoint a single man/woman has more time to concentrate on spiritual matters. Of course, if one doesn’t use being single to spend more time in the work of the Lord, then this advantage goes away and there is no spiritual advantage to being single.
Not everyone should be married. Not everyone wants to be married. The Bible never insists that everyone be married, although that is what we were created for. It is hard to legitimately obey the command to be fruitful and multiply if one does not marry.
Studies have shown that men who are over the age of 30 and are not married often will not marry. For me I believe that God has plans for me to get married because I have a desire to marry and it is a strong desire. But it doesn't consume me. I desire to become a wife and a mother but it is only if God has that for me. So my prayer is if that is what you have for me.God prepare me.I value marriage and I am very old school about it because I am going to honor my vows that I made to God and my husband. There is a big stigma about being single past a certain age. Many people assume that because you are over a certain age you are damaged goods. I am 26 and will be 27 in a couple of months and I have no children and I am single. There is a possible man in my life but we are not in a relationship we are friends and there is a possible relationship that could bloom.I get "Why are you not married?" all the time, I am educated, attractive and I have no children and men always ask me that question. That question never sat with me well but I always replied "God isn't done preparing me for him and him for me."
I believe that there are some people who are called to be single. I know of several people who are committed to ministries that would be hindered by marriage (such as those in inner city street ministry), so they remained single. But I believe that most people were meant to be married.
Being a single woman in her 40's with no children, I am well acquainted with this dilemma. I never thought that I would be single this long. I always wanted to be married with children and many times cried out to God. But for whatever reason, I'm still single. It bothered me a lot more when I was in my 20's and 30's when all of my friends were getting married. Now that I'm headed very quickly to my 50's, I still have hope of marriage and maybe adopting some children, but it doesn't consume me anymore. I've learned to be content in whatever state that I am.
One of my uncles(who had been widowed) married his high school sweetheart about 8 years ago. She was in her 60's, having retired in NY, and this was her first marriage. That situation gives me hope.
In the meantime, I live my life to the fullest. I travel, go out to eat, go to movies, etc. If I can get one of my friends to go, then I do. But I'm perfectly comfortable doing these things by myself. I have a career, bought a house and a car, have a retirement set up, and am financially secure. The extra time that I have, I spend it doing ministry in my church and helping others. That way I don't become selfish and self-consumed.
Some people are called into a life of singleness in order to effectively carry out their kingdom building assignments. The issue with that is, often, we don't want to accept that call into singleness even though we may know that it's God's will. Part of that is because we have let the world dictate what is acceptable and not God's word. The world says that you should be married with 2.5 kids, a home and a career by the time you're thirty but God's word doesn't put an age on any of His promises.It simply says to "delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4.
As a single woman in her 30s, I get the why don't you have children question and why aren't you married question and the one that gets me the most--Don't you want kids? That question really cuts me deep. I believe that some people are meant to be married while others are not. Like mentioned earlier, single people can devote more time to spiritual matters than a married person can. Once you are married, your main concern becomes your husband or wife. When I was much younger, I had no desire to be married. But in my late twenties and after I seriously began my journey with God, the desire surfaced. Because of that, I believe it is a desire placed there by God. And if God put it there, then there must be a man to whom I am called. At the same time, I believe God has a tremendous future for me and honestly, I don't see how a husband and kids fit into that future. So go figure!!! With all of that said, every morning I ask God to give me what I need to survive this day and take it one day at a time. Then I surrender to His will. So whatever He has for me is for me.
4 comments:
In 1 Corinthians 7. Paul recommends that those who are single remain single “for this present distress.” (1 Corinthians 7:26) So his main concern was for a short time of persecution. He never recommends that everyone stay single. Early in the chapter he says that some must marry because of their desires.
He does list advantages to being single. “But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
From a spiritual standpoint a single man/woman has more time to concentrate on spiritual matters. Of course, if one doesn’t use being single to spend more time in the work of the Lord, then this advantage goes away and there is no spiritual advantage to being single.
Not everyone should be married. Not everyone wants to be married. The Bible never insists that everyone be married, although that is what we were created for. It is hard to legitimately obey the command to be fruitful and multiply if one does not marry.
Studies have shown that men who are over the age of 30 and are not married often will not marry. For me I believe that God has plans for me to get married because I have a desire to marry and it is a strong desire. But it doesn't consume me. I desire to become a wife and a mother but it is only if God has that for me. So my prayer is if that is what you have for me.God prepare me.I value marriage and I am very old school about it because I am going to honor my vows that I made to God and my husband. There is a big stigma about being single past a certain age. Many people assume that because you are over a certain age you are damaged goods. I am 26 and will be 27 in a couple of months and I have no children and I am single. There is a possible man in my life but we are not in a relationship we are friends and there is a possible relationship that could bloom.I get "Why are you not married?" all the time, I am educated, attractive and I have no children and men always ask me that question. That question never sat with me well but I always replied "God isn't done preparing me for him and him for me."
I believe that there are some people who are called to be single. I know of several people who are committed to ministries that would be hindered by marriage (such as those in inner city street ministry), so they remained single. But I believe that most people were meant to be married.
Being a single woman in her 40's with no children, I am well acquainted with this dilemma. I never thought that I would be single this long. I always wanted to be married with children and many times cried out to God. But for whatever reason, I'm still single. It bothered me a lot more when I was in my 20's and 30's when all of my friends were getting married. Now that I'm headed very quickly to my 50's, I still have hope of marriage and maybe adopting some children, but it doesn't consume me anymore. I've learned to be content in whatever state that I am.
One of my uncles(who had been widowed) married his high school sweetheart about 8 years ago. She was in her 60's, having retired in NY, and this was her first marriage. That situation gives me hope.
In the meantime, I live my life to the fullest. I travel, go out to eat, go to movies, etc. If I can get one of my friends to go, then I do. But I'm perfectly comfortable doing these things by myself. I have a career, bought a house and a car, have a retirement set up, and am financially secure. The extra time that I have, I spend it doing ministry in my church and helping others. That way I don't become selfish and self-consumed.
Some people are called into a life of singleness in order to effectively carry out their kingdom building assignments. The issue with that is, often, we don't want to accept that call into singleness even though we may know that it's God's will. Part of that is because we have let the world dictate what is acceptable and not God's word. The world says that you should be married with 2.5 kids, a home and a career by the time you're thirty but God's word doesn't put an age on any of His promises.It simply says to "delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4.
As a single woman in her 30s, I get the why don't you have children question and why aren't you married question and the one that gets me the most--Don't you want kids? That question really cuts me deep.
I believe that some people are meant to be married while others are not. Like mentioned earlier, single people can devote more time to spiritual matters than a married person can. Once you are married, your main concern becomes your husband or wife.
When I was much younger, I had no desire to be married. But in my late twenties and after I seriously began my journey with God, the desire surfaced. Because of that, I believe it is a desire placed there by God. And if God put it there, then there must be a man to whom I am called.
At the same time, I believe God has a tremendous future for me and honestly, I don't see how a husband and kids fit into that future. So go figure!!!
With all of that said, every morning I ask God to give me what I need to survive this day and take it one day at a time. Then I surrender to His will. So whatever He has for me is for me.
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