Dr. Charles E. Goodman, Jr.(PG) is the Senior Pastor/Teacher of the Historic Tabernacle Baptist Church in Augusta, Ga. This blog is a in-depth peek into the thoughts and spiritual insights of a pastor who is seeking God while being and becoming who he is purposed to be and that is to LOVE and LEAD people into a MATURING RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ. Blessings
Friday, April 17, 2009
Single or Alone
Is there a difference? I am preaching a series on Relationships the month of May and this is a critical component. I welcome any comments. RevCEGJr
12 comments:
Anonymous
said...
there is a big difference between single or without a spouse or being alone which is usually lonely. you can be in room full of people and be alone, or you can be in a room by yourself but not lonely.. when your focus is on God and God's call on your life, you don't really need anyone but God. some days it is nice to have others around, but you don't need them like you did when you were not in right relationship with God. I say that I am in love with God, more than I have ever loved a man, but many people don't have that with Him and don't understand it. I wonder how hard it will be to keep God first when in relationship with a man... wasn't very good at that when I was in the world.. hope I do better at it now that I am in the kingdom.. God has been far better to me than any person ever has.. so I may be single, but I am not alone anymore..
I truly believe that there is a difference between single and alone. The definitions are distinct. Single defined means unmarried, consisting of one part, distinguished among others. Alone; however, means lonely, isolated from others, separate. I have found that singleness can be one of the happiest states there is. I have married friends (thus not alone) who often feel alone and single because they feel a mixture of the above definitions. I agree with the first comment that many people are alone even when in crowds simply due to their self-esteem issues. However, I must disagree that all we need in our singledom is God. Please let me explain…I love the Lord and am aware of His words and works. I look at the story of Adam and Eve. Adam, who was a happy single man alone in the Garden of Eden without human companionship, loved God. God who is omniscient and omnipresent created Eve for his companionship that added to his happiness on earth. Can we be happy and single…absolutely! I believe that God gives us inner peace that makes the single or married state fulfilled. Alone is not of God. It is a state of confusion and mental instability created by the devil to make us feel inadequate and keep us from our purpose in life coming to fruition.
I agree with both comments. People tend to create a correlation between single and alone. I have married friends and unmarried friends and some of my married friends feel as if they are alone more than my single friends, for various reasons. For example: one of my friends who is married feels alone because she spends more time tending to her children and husband than herself, my single friend finds herself feeling alone because she is home on a friday night alone. Being single gets lonely sometimes. As I get older and grow in my relationship with Christ I don't feel alone. I started to sing in the choir, teach sunday school, teach childrens church, assist in any way I could for Gods kingdom. My girlfriends and I have prayer nights, girls day/night. We read a book out the bible and talk about what we got out of it and what certain things mean. Many females who are single feel like they are alone because they are single, single means alone to the. Being single has it's good times and bad, but being single allows me to focus on God and what He has for me to do for the kingdom. Some people seek a relationships to fill the void of being single or alone. Of course I want to get married some day, if God has a husband for me I want Him to place him in my life. I'm never alone because God is always there for me. Women are driven by relationships. You must touch on the subject, Is your relationship right with God? I read a book called Lady in Waiting, becoming Gods best while waiting for Mr. Right. A guy once told me he wasn't ready to share his space I was thrown because I wanted him but I realized a long time ago that I must focus on the ultimate relationship before God will place my mate in my life. Your never alone, if you have Jesus.
Of course, there is a difference. As a young man in today's society, there are many temptations from every angle. It is difficult to stay true to your beliefs. How do you cope with your singleness while being in the public eye?
Yes there is a big difference between single and alone. I'm single but I'm not alone. temptation is very hard because the devil knows just what you like and how to present it to you. Being single in the public eye is added pressure because people tend to think you can't make a mistake, you can't be in public because people have there own thoughts about your relationship and what you should and shouldn't do. What can you do, people will never be pleased. As long as you have someone who understands your position and is willing to stand beside him or her because there are limits when you are involved with someone who is in the public eye.
I think being single is a choice an individual makes personally! Being alone is just usually a place an individual finds themself after evaluating their surroundings but could often not mean to be alone but thats the conclusion they come to and it was not be choice in comparison to being single!
I agree with the previous posters that there is definitely a distinct difference between the two, however, I've also believed that lonely and alone were not synonymous.
I think the better question would be -"Is there a difference between single and lonely?" . Single represents the state of being unmarried, or the only one, or solitary. It is a state of being that can be positive or negative, depending on how you look at it. However, being lonely carries a negative connotation of being dissatisfied with the lack of companionship. There isn't anything positive about being lonely. The word "alone" is an interesting one. It comes from all (wholly) one. It reminds me of what God said to Adam -- that it was not good for man to be alone (all one). He needed to take the other half of man and form woman. This way there was a complementary part of Adam that he had not recognized before. Alone is not necessarily negative; maybe it simply means that God will form something great that has been created during those times of being alone in His presence. Just some random thoughts.
I ran across this blog looking for something else. I watch your church online and recently started attending 11am service. I'm a single person who is in the public eye somewhat and the biggest thing I deal with is the assumption that I'm always out having a good time, and that I'm always busy. The reality is that I often find myself alone at home after work. Even when I try to make contact with co-workers and acquaintances they seem to be occupied. I'm one of those who feels the lonliest in the middle of a crowd, because everyone has someone to talk to except me, because I'm very shy. I've tried to make friends, but I guess people don't like me, or I am not interesting to others. I'm looking forward to hearing your sermon, because there has to be help for people like me.
to the last comment.. I was the first anonymous... but to you I say... if you allow God to become your reason for waking in the morning... allow Him to be the reason you live... keep yourself in the word of God... come to midweek service... get involved in the church... God is everything... He is truly all there is... whether in relationship or not, a man can never give what God gives... God has to stay first... you can always talk to me... anyone will direct you to who I am... may the blessing of God's love fall on you!!
There's a clear distinction in singleness and being alone. Isolation can also be a dangerous thing if you don't know the Lord or find yourself in a low place. I do believe He uses us who, let Him in, to build one another up as sisters and brothers in Christ. As far as single or married, there's joy in both when your heart is in the right place. Wait on Him, let Him use you, everyone's assignment here is different. Whatever you do, stop the vicious cycle of comparing yourself to others and their relationships or lack thereof. He shall direct thy paths...some potholes still might be along the way, but He will smooth it out and make the way straight. As for nosy people and the public eye, what a fish bowl, figure out how to get air! People judge, gossip, and criticize no matter what you do. Let Him be the judge because you will pass out if you hold your breath waiting on all the sinners to drop the rocks!
I agree with the people that say that there is a distinct difference between being single and alone. However, I do believe that there is a link between being alone and single. God is ALWAYS there! Remember that as long as he is by your side, you may be single, but never alone! I do feel that God has created someone for everyone, so singleness may occur until you are ready for your "God-created" mate. Once the "two" become "one", you should no longer be single or alone.
12 comments:
there is a big difference between single or without a spouse or being alone which is usually lonely. you can be in room full of people and be alone, or you can be in a room by yourself but not lonely.. when your focus is on God and God's call on your life, you don't really need anyone but God. some days it is nice to have others around, but you don't need them like you did when you were not in right relationship with God. I say that I am in love with God, more than I have ever loved a man, but many people don't have that with Him and don't understand it. I wonder how hard it will be to keep God first when in relationship with a man... wasn't very good at that when I was in the world.. hope I do better at it now that I am in the kingdom.. God has been far better to me than any person ever has.. so I may be single, but I am not alone anymore..
I truly believe that there is a difference between single and alone. The definitions are distinct. Single defined means unmarried, consisting of one part, distinguished among others. Alone; however, means lonely, isolated from others, separate. I have found that singleness can be one of the happiest states there is. I have married friends (thus not alone) who often feel alone and single because they feel a mixture of the above definitions. I agree with the first comment that many people are alone even when in crowds simply due to their self-esteem issues. However, I must disagree that all we need in our singledom is God. Please let me explain…I love the Lord and am aware of His words and works. I look at the story of Adam and Eve. Adam, who was a happy single man alone in the Garden of Eden without human companionship, loved God. God who is omniscient and omnipresent created Eve for his companionship that added to his happiness on earth. Can we be happy and single…absolutely! I believe that God gives us inner peace that makes the single or married state fulfilled. Alone is not of God. It is a state of confusion and mental instability created by the devil to make us feel inadequate and keep us from our purpose in life coming to fruition.
I agree with both comments. People tend to create a correlation between single and alone. I have married friends and unmarried friends and some of my married friends feel as if they are alone more than my single friends, for various reasons. For example: one of my friends who is married feels alone because she spends more time tending to her children and husband than herself, my single friend finds herself feeling alone because she is home on a friday night alone. Being single gets lonely sometimes. As I get older and grow in my relationship with Christ I don't feel alone. I started to sing in the choir, teach sunday school, teach childrens church, assist in any way I could for Gods kingdom. My girlfriends and I have prayer nights, girls day/night. We read a book out the bible and talk about what we got out of it and what certain things mean. Many females who are single feel like they are alone because they are single, single means alone to the. Being single has it's good times and bad, but being single allows me to focus on God and what He has for me to do for the kingdom. Some people seek a relationships to fill the void of being single or alone. Of course I want to get married some day, if God has a husband for me I want Him to place him in my life. I'm never alone because God is always there for me. Women are driven by relationships. You must touch on the subject, Is your relationship right with God? I read a book called Lady in Waiting, becoming Gods best while waiting for Mr. Right. A guy once told me he wasn't ready to share his space I was thrown because I wanted him but I realized a long time ago that I must focus on the ultimate relationship before God will place my mate in my life. Your never alone, if you have Jesus.
Of course, there is a difference. As a young man in today's society, there are many temptations from every angle. It is difficult to stay true to your beliefs.
How do you cope with your singleness while being in the public eye?
Yes there is a big difference between single and alone. I'm single but I'm not alone. temptation is very hard because the devil knows just what you like and how to present it to you. Being single in the public eye is added pressure because people tend to think you can't make a mistake, you can't be in public because people have there own thoughts about your relationship and what you should and shouldn't do. What can you do, people will never be pleased. As long as you have someone who understands your position and is willing to stand beside him or her because there are limits when you are involved with someone who is in the public eye.
I think being single is a choice an individual makes personally! Being alone is just usually a place an individual finds themself after evaluating their surroundings but could often not mean to be alone but thats the conclusion they come to and it was not be choice in comparison to being single!
I agree with the previous posters that there is definitely a distinct difference between the two, however, I've also believed that lonely and alone were not synonymous.
I think the better question would be -"Is there a difference between single and lonely?" . Single represents the state of being unmarried, or the only one, or solitary. It is a state of being that can be positive or negative, depending on how you look at it. However, being lonely carries a negative connotation of being dissatisfied with the lack of companionship. There isn't anything positive about being lonely. The word "alone" is an interesting one. It comes from all (wholly) one. It reminds me of what God said to Adam -- that it was not good for man to be alone (all one). He needed to take the other half of man and form woman. This way there was a complementary part of Adam that he had not recognized before. Alone is not necessarily negative; maybe it simply means that God will form something great that has been created during those times of being alone in His presence. Just some random thoughts.
I ran across this blog looking for something else. I watch your church online and recently started attending 11am service. I'm a single person who is in the public eye somewhat and the biggest thing I deal with is the assumption that I'm always out having a good time, and that I'm always busy. The reality is that I often find myself alone at home after work. Even when I try to make contact with co-workers and acquaintances they seem to be occupied. I'm one of those who feels the lonliest in the middle of a crowd, because everyone has someone to talk to except me, because I'm very shy. I've tried to make friends, but I guess people don't like me, or I am not interesting to others. I'm looking forward to hearing your sermon, because there has to be help for people like me.
to the last comment.. I was the first anonymous... but to you I say... if you allow God to become your reason for waking in the morning... allow Him to be the reason you live... keep yourself in the word of God... come to midweek service... get involved in the church... God is everything... He is truly all there is... whether in relationship or not, a man can never give what God gives... God has to stay first... you can always talk to me... anyone will direct you to who I am... may the blessing of God's love fall on you!!
There's a clear distinction in singleness and being alone. Isolation can also be a dangerous thing if you don't know the Lord or find yourself in a low place. I do believe He uses us who, let Him in, to build one another up as sisters and brothers in Christ. As far as single or married, there's joy in both when your heart is in the right place. Wait on Him, let Him use you, everyone's assignment here is different. Whatever you do, stop the vicious cycle of comparing yourself to others and their relationships or lack thereof. He shall direct thy paths...some potholes still might be along the way, but He will smooth it out and make the way straight. As for nosy people and the public eye, what a fish bowl, figure out how to get air! People judge, gossip, and criticize no matter what you do. Let Him be the judge because you will pass out if you hold your breath waiting on all the sinners to drop the rocks!
I agree with the people that say that there is a distinct difference between being single and alone. However, I do believe that there is a link between being alone and single. God is ALWAYS there! Remember that as long as he is by your side, you may be single, but never alone! I do feel that God has created someone for everyone, so singleness may occur until you are ready for your "God-created" mate. Once the "two" become "one", you should no longer be single or alone.
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